Hemp Hearts Attack!

Way back in September, Manitoba Harvest was the first company to not only send me product to sample, but also the first to offer me a donation of food. I was beside myself with shock at the time. You want to give me delicious, nutritious hemp seeds for my trek? But I didn’t even ask! No groveling involved, cross my (hemp) heart and hope to…eat Hemp Hearts.

If you’re interested in knowing more about Manitoba Harvest’s hemp seeds, please refer back to my post from September 28. Otherwise, suffice it to say that I love these tasty little seeds. They’re packed full of omega 3s and 6s, have a pleasant nutty earthy flavor, and are chocked full of protein. They also fly around Metropolis in blue tights and a red cape.

The other day I got home from work to see a package waiting at my door. This happens pretty frequently these days, but it never fails to get me giddy with anticipation. What could it be? What did I order now? I can’t wait to find out!

I went to lift the box and felt resistance against the unexpected weight. I like to maintain the surprise until the last possible moment, so I purposefully avoided glancing at sides of the box for indications of its origins. I also have a habit of taking my time unwrapping my packages, carefully folding back the tape in one piece, creasing the top flaps of the box, peering in to espy the contents.

It’d been three and a half months since Manitoba Harvest offered the donation, so I’d completely forgotten that we’d discussed a January delivery. When I lifted the canister of Hemp Hearts out of the box, an actual “tee hee hee” of glee escaped from my mouth. This was a monster of a canister, five pounds of awesomeness. It’s pretty much as wide and long as my torso. In fact, I’m pretty sure that if you lined up the seeds single file, they would wrap halfway around the Earth (give or take).

Hey Homie, that's a monolith of Hemp Hearts!

Hey Homie, that’s a monolith of Hemp Hearts!

I crunched some numbers in order to get an idea of scale. Taking into account the entire canister, this is what Manitoba Harvest was generous enough to donate to me in the way of Hemp Hearts:

  • 75 servings
  • 225 tablespoons
  • 750 grams of protein
  • 12,750 calories
  • 225 grams of fiber
Carry the five. Multiply by 42. And you get life, the universe, and everything.

Carry the five. Multiply by 42. And you get life, the universe, and everything.

In my original post, I had said that I plan to eat the donated Hemp Hearts for breakfast paired with rehydrated baby rice cereal. While I still stand by my assertion that baby rice cereal goes splendidly, I’ve since (surprise, surprise) changed my mind.

Bu-bu-but, I promise it’s not a game changer.

I’m just changing the vehicle from baby rice cereal to (gluten free) oatmeal. All the way back in September, nonetheless two weeks ago, I hadn’t planned on bringing a stove. Now that I’ve reversed course in that regard, I can prepare hot instant oatmeal and mix in some Hemp Hearts for breakfast every morning. This is a hearty, wholesome, flavorful combination. Trust me: even now, I eat it several times a week.

I'm on top of the wooooorld!

I’m on top of the wooooorld!

I have just a month and a half left until I begin my trek. In the meantime, I suppose I could use this monster canister for weight lifting or possibly to anchor a circus tent in a hurricane. So many applications! Now, I just have to figure out how to get it from DC to Virginia Beach. It might be too big to fit in the moving truck. Maybe I can tether it to the roof.

Meandering on,



8 thoughts on “Hemp Hearts Attack!

  1. I have a smoothie recipe that calls for hemp seeds, but have never tried it bc I don’t have a vitamix or other high powered blender (hoping that’s about to change for me in the near future though, lol) Anyway, I had no idea they would be good alone…so, maybe I will go ahead and buy some soon, afterall! Thanks for sharing!

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